PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fill condoms, not promises.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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