I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
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I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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