i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize