Dual....:-)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
