The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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