I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
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They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
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BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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