I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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