hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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