Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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