the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
