we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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