You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
the night ended with taco bell and tears
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize