he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
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