Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She needs sedatives and a leash
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