that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
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I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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