your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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