i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize