I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
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Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
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In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.