halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize