i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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