Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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