drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
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