sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
