Do you still have your period?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize
