He's been sleeping iwht ***
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?