Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.