last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
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If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth