he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?