Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
