It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.