shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
you never un-have a 4some