Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
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If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
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Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.