He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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