so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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