I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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