do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize