I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.