Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
