you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
