Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
