Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
