Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize