East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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