I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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