I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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