Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize