idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
