im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Randomize