I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
