I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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