hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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