Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize