he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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