So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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