Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
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I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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