I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
