On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize